Many people think that civility is just another word for being nice.
I can certainly relate to the sense out there that at some level, being nice about all this would take the edge off things. CNN just ran an article about taking a minute to be nice amidst a growing intense debate on who will be the next president. It actually makes many great points about ways to create an atmosphere for civility that we should exercise. Conceding a point or two once in a while is a sign that you are a reasonable person, and it really does put you in a better mood.
It is important to correct a false notion however about civility. Civility in no way means you disarm yourself of any rational arguments on behalf of your convictions. To the contrary, civility is evidenced by seeing an increase in rationality and an increase in decision-making wisdom.
Civility in its best form takes us away from fierce antagonism, and helps us reach conclusions we need not regret over time. It helps us ask honest questions and expect honest answers. It raises the bar. It sets a standard for what kind of rhetoric you are willing to tolerate, and it demands full disclosure in a manner that does not have to come across as prosecutorial.
Entries